In His Time

When I was sixteen I was driving down to church in the “purple-urple” (the purple minivan I drove throughout High school.). I was the solitary ruler of the freeway, except for one landscaping truck driving very slowly to the right of me. I was about to pass Him when I felt like the Lord told me to get behind Him. This seems like a small request, but for someone with a slight (and by slight I mean Huge) impatience problem, it was anything but small. But I slowed down, pulled over, left the open road in front of me, to drive behind this truck that apparently thought we were driving through a residential area. 

As soon as I pulled over, and I mean as soon as I pulled over, the truck exploded. Not with fire, no this is phoenix not Hollywood, but a lid must have fallen off something because I was suddenly in the middle of a tinker-tape parade. He must have trimmed the hedges of all the bougainvillea in Phoenix because I was caught in a blizzard of flowers, I felt like I just won the super bowl. It was beautiful. It lasted the next mile or so and stopped just as I veered right to get off the freeway.

That incident, however small, left a big imprint on my heart.

I learned I could follow the Lord’s lead. I remembered it as I boarded a plane to South Africa leaving my soon to be husband behind, and as I landed in Belize after saying goodbye to my family and hello to the unknown for a year. I remembered it as I said, “I do” at the age of 19, and after I held my first little girl at just 21. I remembered that God changes our plans but we can always trust Him.

I only tell you this simple story from my youth because the Lord reminded me of it the other day. Dave and I were driving the car over to my grandparents so they could borrow it. I was driving behind dave and the girls, thinking about Bella and life and Bella. There were open lanes to my right but I just stayed behind the van, waving to the girls at every stoplight.

I realized my expectations for life are not what God has for my life. I created an idea in my head of what I wanted and expected that the Lord would work around it because he loves me.

But He changed my course, because He loves me more than I can imagine.

So I’m thanking God today. Although I can’t bear to look at the future of hip surgeries, shunt revisions and catheters, I can get behind Him and walk, knowing that in His time He makes all things beautiful.